My kid is on Facebook!

Readers may have noticed I’ve been on a blogging hiatus – otherwise known at maternity leave. I had a baby in February and took some much need to time to disconnect and ‘power down’ as I like to call it. Now almost four months later I’m ready to get back to work. Since I still have parenting on the brain it seems only fitting my first blog post-maternity leave would be about parenting.  Parenting won’t be a regular theme of this blog but certainly social media has a huge impact of how parents now think of the internet usage by their kids.

My daughter this week asked if she could have a Facebook page. I’ve held out because she isn’t 13 and that is the age Facebook requires a user to be in order to have a page. That isn’t to say a person can’t create a page, you just have to fib your birth year. The reason she gave for wanting one is “all my friends are doing it!” Typically I’m not a parent that caves to that as a reason to do anything but then I realized I’m prolonging the inevitable. When the conversation first came up 6 months ago I told her not yet, but prepared her for the #1 rule when the time came for her to join any social network. That rule is any network she joins she must friend me so I can see what is going on on her page. This is non-negotiable and something I recommend to all parents. Fast forward to this week and I agreed to let her have a page. I used the opportunity to have a long conversation about internet safely, an absolute must for any parent today. Here are the top themes I discussed with my daughter:

• NEVER accept a friend request from someone you don’t know. Yes, there are people that have 1000s of friends on Facebook and use it as a network to meet people. I honestly don’t think young people have the judgment to be able to distinguish the true intent of people so on this point I am very clear, no gray area.
• NEVER post anything you don’t want everyone including your parents and grandparents to see. I did explain to her there is no ‘delete’ button on the internet but I think this concept is not something a young person can quite grasp. So I simplified the concept to say don’t post anything you wouldn’t want mom to see because I’ll be watching. As she gets older we will have the conversation about future employers, college admissions boards and other situations where a person wouldn’t want unsavory content to be seen.
• NEVER give out personal address and phone number information for any reason. Anyone asking for it is not someone who should be getting it. If she is confused by a request she is to show it to me so I can verify.
• Privacy settings: This is a big one. I went through the Facebook settings with her and explained to her what they all meant. They I double checked her page at work and it turned out we still didn’t have all the privacy settings locked so I went back to her page with her and we tightened them up. I want her to know the first thing a person should do when they join any social network is review the privacy settings and double check the settings from another computer to be sure you’ve done it right.
• No tolerance policy around cyber bullying. If my daughter sees it she is to report it to me. My heart breaks at how cruel young people can be and I want her to know there is never a time when this type of behavior is okay.

Those are the themes we started with. Internet safety is absolutely crucial in todays world. Teaching kids from the time they start using it is the best way to keep good habits and keep them staying diligent. Would welcome any other thoughts or suggestions for other good internet tips.